In case anyone missed it the first time...
In the hastily erected Temporary Roach Headquarters, Vermin looks over what's left of the MRA sadly.Vermin (thinking): We used to be the greatest army in the universe, but now only a handful of the newest recruits are left...(sighs) oh, Dad, why did you start this stupid war in the first place? Maybe big brother had the right idea in changing sides...
Dr. Gerbil (under his breath): Most Honorable Leader, your men are awaiting your first speech...
Vermin (still thinking): I can't possibly ask them to die so pointlessly! I just can't! Even if they were willing to do anything for me, there's just no way...
Dr. Gerbil (a bit louder): Most Honorable Leader...!
Vermin (snaps out of his reverie): Oh, yes, of course.
Vermin picks up the speech Dr. Gerbil wrote for him, scans it quickly, and clears his throat.
Vermin: Loyal subjects and fellow roaches, I bring to you the tragic news of my father's death.
A gasp runs through the group, followed by uncertain murmuring.
Vermin: Although the title of leader should have gone to my brother, Roach, he has betrayed our purpose and therefore no longer worthy to be the head of this army.
The murmuring turns angry. Vermin closes his eyes and takes in another breath.
Vermin: Therefore, I am next to succeed. Will you obey me as you have obeyed my father?
An affirmative shout goes up. Vermin shudders.
Vermin (thinking): My God, all of these lives are in my hand, just like that!
Dr. Gerbil (notices Vermin's uncertainty): Most Honorable Leader, I understand that you are upset at your father's passing, but you must be strong for the sake of your people!
Vermin looks at Dr. Gerbil and the elder man flashes him a Look. Vermin knows all too well what it means: "Screw up and you die. Slowly. Painfully." He takes another breath.
Vermin (quietly): No.
Dr. Gerbil (eyes narrowed): What did you say?
For a second, Vermin almost loses his nerve, but he steels himself.
Vermin (louder): No. I can't do this. I won't. (turns to the microphone) Well, then, roaches, my first order of business is to end this war.
Again, startled gasps run through the room.
Dr. Gerbil (starting to get angry): You don't know what you're saying, Most Honorable Leader.
Vermin, suddenly full of confidence--or stupidity--turns to Dr. Gerbil.
Vermin (sounding eerily like his father): I know damn well what I'm saying! Are you saying you doubt me?
(Dr. Gerbil, shocked by this sudden display of backbone, can't say a word.)
Vermin (as above, to the MRA): Take a good look around you. How many faces do you still recognise? How many of your friends and family lie dead on the battleground? What has this war gained us? (he pauses for effect) Two totalled headquarters, countless of casualties, and billions of dollars lost, that's what!
Realizing that he's getting carried away, Vermin forces himself to calm down.
Vermin (softly): I cannot--will not--order you to go to your deaths and throw away any more of the precious resources we had so carefully built up. My father died because he could not open his eyes to the truth, that we were not able to win against the humans. I will not make that mistake. (lowers his head) Go home, all of you. Please.
Dr. Gerbil (with a very dangerous tone of voice): You will not change your mind, Most Honorable Leader?
Vermin (resolute): No. This war is over.
Dr. Gerbil (drawing a gun): Oh, no, Vermin. This war's just begun.
What happens next? Does Vermin meet his doom at the hands of the evil Dr. Gerbil? Or does his brother Roach come to a dramatic rescue? It's up to the next person!
OK, I'm going to take a stab at this. Everybody tells me to just jump right in, forget continuity! Here I go!
Tifa is busy wiping the bar counter at the EGC Bar. The door opens and a stranger walks in. She has long dark blue hair with highlites of purple. She wears a tight, short sleeve top with red stripes at the collar and sleeves. Her shorts are white with black ends and she has offwhite ankle-boots.Tifa: Hello, welcome to EGC Bar.
Girl: (*face is sullen*) Hello. (*plops herself onto a bar stool*)
Tifa: You don't look so good. Can I get you something?
Girl: What do you have for broken hearts?
Tifa: (*gives a sympathetic look*) Oh, that bad? (*turns around*) I can give you "Tifa's Heartbreak Special". Two glasses of sake, a box of tissues and chocolate mint. No crying on the shoulder. I just had this outfit washed.
Girl: Sounds good. (*She unwraps the mint and pops it into her mouth. Then, she proceeds to down the sake like water in a desert.*)
Tifa: (*sweatdrops*) That was fast. Got a name to your problem?
Girl: Kenyo. (*puts on dreamy look*) Handsome, rich, the perfect guy to marry and live the easy life. (*sighs*)
Tifa: What happened? No commitment? (*almost a tinge of bitterness in her voice*)
Girl: No. He said he couldn't date a tomboy like me.
Tifa: (*wide-eyed*) Tomboy?! You look so feminine! (*gulps, hoping the girl doesn't take it the _WRONG_ way*)
Girl: Tell it to the guy whose nose I broke after the bar fight.
Tifa: My my... (*makes mental note not to serve any more alcohol to the girl*) So, what's your name? I forgot...
Girl: That's because I didn't mention it. Call me Atsuko! (*offers a hand and shakes with Tifa*) Mind if I stay here for a while and see what pops up?
Tifa: (*gestures fancifully*) By all means.
There! How was that? I hope it was okay!
(*At the Temporary Roach Headquarters*)Dr. Gerbil: (*with a very dangerous tone of voice*) You willnot change your mind, Most Honorable Leader?
Vermin: (*resolute*) No. This war is over.
Dr. Gerbil: (*drawing a gun*) Oh, no, Vermin. This war's justbegun.
(*A long uncomfortable pause, and a concerned mumbling from amongthe roach crowd. Vermin's resoluteness is definitely not-so-much.*)
(*And then, suddenly, out of the air ...*)
Voice: (*cooing*) Yeeeees, that's right, my darling mad rodent... it's all just begun ...
(*A gasp comes up from the roach crowd. Even Dr. Gerbil startsat the familiar sound ...*)
Voice: (*darkly, yet still cooing*) Now you just pull thattrigger, and my revenge will be complete.
Random Roach: It's the RL-CHATTY!!
My, my, you roaches have such a memory! You still rememberme, eh? Do you remember the circumstances, or need I recapitulatethe story?
Vermin: (*shaking*) Y-you're the one from the Spider Initiative...
(*manically*) Ding ding ding! Correct! The onewhose self-insert your father kidnapped and threatened with a blaster tothe back of the head ... as you are being threatened now! Such deliciousirony!
Vermin: O-oh ... d-dear.
(*cooing again*) You've done well, my dear rodent. Verywell. You shall be rewarded heavily for this.
Dr. Gerbil: Reward?! What the heck are you talking about,you --
Why, you haven't told them yet? Tsk tsk. Such bad mannersfor such a skillful plant.
Vermin: Plant..?!
Indeed. Now that you've lost, I might as well tell you ...Dr. Gerbil is my plant.
Dr. Gerbil: WHAT?!
My plant, my spy, my beloved sabotage artist!
Dr. Gerbil: (*nervously*) That is NOT true!
I put him in a position to infiltrate the Roach Army with ordersto build technology that would not work at crucial moments, sabotage existingweapons so that they would be useless in combat --
Dr. Gerbil: She's LYING! These are all LIES!
(*darkly*) -- and, of course, gain the Roach Leader's trustso that he would make that oh-so-crucial mistake that would cost him hisworthless little insect life.
Dr. Gerbil: It's not true!
Vermin: W-wha... I th-thought you w-were supposed to be all n-nobleand --
(*cheerily*) Oh, yes, quite often I act that way. Butyour father was quite aware of how cruel I can be at my dark times. That's why he was so persistant at attacking the EGC.
Vermin: (*blink blink*) You mean he was ... right?
(*purrs*) I wouldn't say "right". I'd say ... mildlyjustified in his intentions.
Vermin: M-mildly justified..?
I took over his dimension, destroyed crops to start a world-widefamine, killed thousands of his relatives and friends via Eva A when theystaged a peaceful demonstration, et cetera, et cetera. (*chuckles*)Roaches -- m'dear worthless scum! -- when he said that I'd deprivedyou of your pride, your dignity, and your freedom in the homeland, he wasspeaking rather literally.
Old Roach: I remember that rally!! You @#$%&! Killing unarmed roaches with the ultimate humanoid weapon..!!
Vermin: B-but ... wasn't there s-something with the insert andthe sorceress Miyu..? W-weren't you s-supposed to be the p-puppetof --
Ah, but that was my insert, dearest eater of waste products. And while my insert may have been in the control of Miyu, I have alwaysbeen quite in control of both. I admit, though, it was quite interestinghaving dearest Miyu take the brunt of the blame ...
Vermin: (*wincing*) But you turned back from being a villain! You gave up control of the land! The war was only for needless vengeance!
Would that it were so, m'dear. Once a villain, always a villain. 'Tis hard to give up the thrill of doing unforgivable things for the repetativeboredom of random acts of kindness. My insert gave up villainy, butI did not.
Vermin: You mean ... that was all ... a charade..?
(*purring*) Oh, no, my dear Vermin. It means I workfor both sides. No limits to my entertainment. And speakingof my entertainment, it is time for you to die. Gerbil, pull thetrigger.
Dr. Gerbil: (*shaking like a leaf*) I ... a-am not ... a p-plan-nt...
Take your time, doctor, I'm in no hurry. Blasting his head offwill be a slow, violently painful death anyway ... you know how long aroach can live without its head, don't you, Vermin?
Vermin: T-ten days ... until d-death occurs ... from starvation.
Very good, Vermin. You're as smart as your father was. Smarter, even, in that you didn't trust my plant. 'Tis a shame, too,I would have liked to have seen you die from the same arrogance as he.(*suddenly serious*) Gerbil, pull that damn trigger, will you?
Dr. Gerbil: I AM NOT A PLANT!
Just shut up and shoot the Dishonorable Leader, all right?! If you shoot him, I'll blink you out of here! The roaches won't havea chance to maul you!
(*This catches Dr. Gerbil's attention.*)
Dr. Gerbil: You'll save me?
YES!! Now SHOOT!
(*He nods, aims, and --*)
(*FLASH*)
..........
... Vermin..?
Vermin: ..nh...zzz...
Yo, Most Honorable Leader, wake up. (*bap*)
Vermin: Wh.. huh? What happened?
I just kidnapped you, that's what.
Vermin: What?!
You're welcome.
Vermin: You kidnapped me?!
That's what I said, wasn't it?
Vermin: (*whimper*)
Geez, you're not just your father's boy, you're your mother's boytoo, eh?
Vermin: ...aren't you finished with me yet..?
Finished with the second son of my most worthy opponent? Never.
Vermin: (*turning away*) Then what do you plan to do withme?
Hide you away until there's enough of a calm that you can be safelybrought to your brother. Then the two of you can go back to the roachesand use your mutual birthright to put an end to this ridiculous nonsense.
Vermin: (*blink blink*) Huh..?
You want to put an end to the fighting. The way to do thatis to obtain peace with the humans. Roach fights alongside the humans. Without him, they won't trust you ... and without you, the roaches won'ttrust him. I need both of your efforts in order to stop this war.
Vermin: But you just said --
A lot of that was pure BS, Vermin.
Vermin: Bullpoop..?
Well, okay, your father's reasons for starting the war were unfortunatelytrue ... but as Shinobi once told him, "now, now, if ya take over the EGC,then you are no better than a Villian." There was no need to killinnocents in order to stop me ... having my insert fall in love and undergoa literal baptism by fire was quite enough. He should have foughtwith words, not weapons.
Vermin: Then you're not really a villain?
No, not really. Mischievous at times, but not a villain.
Vermin: (*sidelong glance*) Why should I believe you?
Well, for one thing, I just saved your life from Dr. Gerbil.
Vermin: But isn't he your plant?
Ah, no. He's just some mad scientist I hired once to disposeof my superfluous inserts. I had five and it was getting difficultto keep track of them all. (*chuckle*)
Vermin: Then you didn't sabotage the Roach offensive?
Heavens, no! I had far too much respect for your father todo anything like that. (*reverently*) Out of all the villainsI've faced, he's the one that held out the longest. Not to mentionit's not too often you encounter shrewd intelligence and initiative inthe same character ... he was a good opponent. Unforgiving and unrelentlesslycruel, but worthy of respect nevertheless.
Vermin: ...you mean you liked him? Your worst living enemy?
(*startled*) Well, err ... slightly fond of him, perhaps,he was a very interesting fellow to battle against. Very good strategist... if I weren't an RL, I would have lost many times. I was everso slightly annoyed at Sicchan for killing him.
Vermin: (*a little angry*) Just annoyed?
Just annoyed, because I was more pissed off at Gerbil for havingsent him into a position of suicide. He knew what Sikaryan was,that's why he initially didn't build an anti-RL to go against him! And yet he had the gall to not only commit a sin of omission bynot telling the Leader, but he committed murder by sabotaging Gregor twice!
Vermin: ... twice?!
Once with the infection, the second time when he "fixed" it. Even if Sikaryan hadn't shown his true colors, to put it mildly, Gregorwould have blown up from a rather inconvienient internal fuel leakage.
Vermin: (*dawning comprehension*) Then he ...
Yup. Dr. Gerbil arranged for your father to die. Andyou're a smart fellow, I think you can figure out what he had in mind afterthat ...
(*Loooooong pause.*)
Vermin: (*darkened expression*) I see.
Oh, don't hate him. Be angry, be outraged, but don't have anythingto do with hatred. If you swear to kill him no matter what it takes,you'll be too much like your father ... going after vengeance even aftereveryone else has forgotten the reason. After a while, the only onesgetting killed from that are the innocents.
Vermin: No, I know. But what am I supposed to do?
Weren't you listening earlier? You are to meet your brotherand the two of you are to end the war. Leave the disposal of Dr.Gerbil to me, Vermin. I have the power and the mindset for it.
Vermin: I just hope he dies in great pain someday.
Ditto, except I hope sooner than someday.
Vermin: You have an idea?
Had an idea filched from Shinobi, tailored to fit the occasion. Cross your fingers and hope he's not that clever a fellow as to escapea raging mob of angry roaches.
Vermin: ..... well, if I had fingers to cross ... (*smirks*)
You know, sometimes you are far too much like your father.
Vermin: Is that a problem?
Heck no. Don't change.
Vermin: I'll see what I can do about that.
Y'know, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Vermin: Huh?
Sorry, I've always wanted to ref that. Hehe ... anyways, let'ssee ... where did I blink you out to, anyway?
Vermin: (*points*) What's that?
Um ... I could be wrong, but it looks like a tennis court ...
Vermin: And are those ... trees?
Why, you've never seen one?
Vermin: (*meekly*) No.
You mean you're an EGC native?
Vermin: Well, I was BORN in the homeland, but ...
Ah, like my RL-brothers and New Jersey, then. Well, where there'strees and tennis courts, there's Uptown EGC ... and will you look at that,it's a Giant Spider ...
Spider: (*squeaky voice*) Good evening, guvvnah, would you likea croissant?
Friendly, too. No, but thanks for the offer, Mr. ... ah ...(*reading name tag*) ... "Gigantos 'Spider' Arachnid".
Spider: (*squeaky voice*) Thank you kindly, 'twaren't nothing.(*skips off*)
Vermin: Weird.
Isn't it? Well, we're definitely in Deep Uptown EGC, then. 'S a long way from the bar in Downtown, and that's not good. You'llbe going through a lot of dangerous areas alone ...
Vermin: Uptown is dangerous?
Of course! Suppose you got caught by Buffy the Insect Slayer..? Or worse yet, suppose a mob of spiders decided you were kute, with a k?!
Vermin: ... oh. Oh dear.
And a fat lot of good I am, I'm just a disembodied RL. No insertto send with you ...
Vermin: None?
Nope. Can't access the living ones, the computer's only lettingme in because I'm the only person arguing against his replacement, andhe's rather fond of his position as it is.
Vermin: Huh?
If he doesn't let me in, he's junk.
Vermin: Ah. What about a cameo?
Cameo? I wonder ... (*mumbling*) ... I suppose Icould ... yes, that should work ...
Vermin: Any ideas?
Yes, one ... here goes nothing!
(*FLASH*) Suikoden Hero: .....nh......hn..?
Vermin: (*blink blink*) What is that?
The Hero of my Suikoden save game. You'll like him, he's exactlylike me.
Vermin: He is?
I'd feel guilty playing as if he wasn't, wouldn't I?
Vermin: (*skeptically*) He doesn't look anything like you ...
I know, he looks like Joseph with a staff and weird clothes, don'the?
Vermin: What?
Odd joke, let it slide. (*to the Suikoden hero*)YoungMaster, time to wake up!
Young Master: Lemme sleepgggh fifmor minuugggzzz, Gremio ... (*yawnsand rolls over on his side*)
I ain't Gremio! (*prods*) Up and at 'em, Israfel! It's mid-evening already!
Israfel: ..hn? (*sits up*) Nggh mmrrmm? (*yawn*) Whatthe hell..?
Hey, I prodded! Will ya look at that, I'm disembodiedand I can still prod with the best of them!
Israfel: (*blink blink*)
Help me, Obiwan Kenobi, you're our only hope!
Israfel: Err ... I'm awake now, thank you ...
Ah, good, good. Anyway, I needs to borrow you a little while. Mind cameoing as this poor Most Honorable Leader's bodyguard?
Israfel: Who?
The giant bug.
Israfel: Oh. Can I say no?
Technically yes, but this is a Communist Choice.
Israfel: Oh. Then I suppose it's a yes ...
Good. Stand still.
Israfel: Wha--
(*And suddenly he knew. He hated that. She could havejust as easily have told him, she didn't suddenly have to drop chilly knowledgestraight into his brain ...*)
(*Well, okay, she did. After all, how's he supposed to findthe bar otherwise..?*)
Israfel: Ow ... thank you, now I know what a hangover feels likewhen I'm still underage ...
Whoops, too much information. Ah well, looks like you're thetemporary insert for now, Young Master!
Israfel: (*deadpan*) Oh, joy, the world rejoiceth.
World: Yay.
Isn't he just like me?
Vermin: (*blink blink*) Yes, in an immensely frightening way.
Well then, I hope you succeed on your expedition ... and let's hopeyou arrive in Downtown in one piece.
Israfel: Which one?
Preferably a vital one. Good luck.
(*tinkle tinkle*)Vermin: She disappears with a tinkling sound?
Israfel: My Lord, that is scary.
I'm still here.
Israfel: Oh.
Just wanted to remind you that I'm always by your side, yadda yadda yadda,and don't use the Soul Eater Rune, m'kay? 'Cause the Soul Eater Runeis bad, m'kay, and you shouldn't unleash it 'cause that's bad, m'kay?
Israfel: Can I threaten to use it?
Oh, sure thing. Fun things to threaten with, them thingiescapable of destroying worlds. Mm yup.
(*BLOOP*)Israfel: "Bloop" ... now that's more like it ...
Vermin: C'mon ... let's go, bodyguard!
Israfel: Huh..? What the heck was that?
Vermin: Bad reffing runs in the family.
Israfel: Ah.
I'd just like to say, I really am/was that fond of the Roach Leader as a villain. I mean, really, he was fun! Cruel, but fun! And that twist of Dot's was simply fabulous ... I bow down to your superior talent, Warner-sama. (*tries to bow, gets stuck*) Err ... looks like I'll have to settle for a nod ... damn back ... Oh, and Atsuko: fabulous opening post! I'm greatly impressed. ^_^
Hahaaah! It's Fun Time!
Ruto: *purrs* Oh you bad bad boy... and it's not even midnight... *giggles suggestively*
Errrrrh... yes. Anyway. Where was I? ¬¬;;;;;
Ruto: *breathes into his ear* Talking about Fun...
Argh! O.o I like hentai but this is definately too much! Line! Fast!
I loooooooose c'ntrol, togiiiiiiretaaaaa kokorooo, sottoooo kazeeee ni sarawarete, boku waaaa teeeen woooo aooooguuuu...! ^_______________^Johnny: Gawsh, he's started reciting JPop lyrics... he really needs it... Oi, Insert! That's right, I'm talking to you, Mr Karaoke! Here's ya' coffee!
Domoooooo!!!!! *huggy* ^_______________^
Johnny: Will you get offa me! I told you, don't get yaoi-ish with me!
Gomen nasai... ;________;
Johnny: Yeah yeah, just drink your coffee... gawsh...
Hey & Simon: Row row row ya' boat, jentlieee down da streeem...!
Johnny: Hey! Sime! You drink this too!
Sikaryan & Hey & Simon: *gulp*gulp*gulp*
Sikaryan & Hey & Simon: ... ... ...
Sikaryan & Hey & Simon: o.o o.o o.o
Sikaryan & Hey & Simon: X_X X_X X_X
Sikaryan & Hey & Simon: GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sikaryan & Hey & Simon: *coff*coff*coff*
Sikaryan & Hey & Simon: *fall over*
Johnny: It's always the same with these guys... ^^;
Ruto: *purrs* Oh Ian-chaaaan... where are you...?
Psst... don't tell her I'm hiding in the drawer! Please! Oo;
Atsuko: (*sweatdrops*) Are they always like this?Tifa Lockheart: Don't look at me, I just run the bar.
*The ever-helpful Aoi taps Ruto on the shoulder, smiling innocently*
Aoi: ^_^ Hi, Ruto-san! If you're looking for Subi-kun, he's hiding in that drawer. *Points*
Ruto: That in the desk there? Thanks. *whistles innocently and strolls over to the desk* Gee, just where could Ian-chan be...? *pulls the drawer open* Ah HAH!
Argl! O.o I am not a crook! I am not a crook!
Ruto: Oh, that's okay... not everyone can be one. *grabs Ian by his collar* What about... having Fun...?!
Aoi... you will pay for this! O.o
(*Insert random Lemon Scene here*)
Aoi: Pay for it? ^_^ Quite the opposite, I'll be making a tidy profit on it!
*Aoi whips out a movie camera and tripod from pocketspace and films the Random Lemon Scene, for blackmail purposes and whatnot ^_^*