Well well well...  Its that time again!
       Yes indeedy, Shinobi-style bidness... its been a while

Hmmm... a pointless post without Shinobi or any of my cameos?  Can it be done?  Doubtful, but i'll give it a shot.  This one'll have Rufus and some ShinRa people... and mayhaps one or two of mine, you never know...

Well, lets get this show on the road... hard rule!

[ SCENE:  The middle of the night, ShinRa HQ.  Rufus barges into Reeve's room. ]

Rufus:  Reeve, wake up!

Reeve:  Gah!  Huh... Zuuuh?

Rufus:  I said wake up, not speak in tongues.

Reeve:  Boss?  Its... (*Checks the "Scene" line*) "the middle of the night."

Rufus:  I know, i can read too.  But you know about disguise, and how to pass among the non-employees out there.  I want to go outside and pass among them.  Completely unlike i do usually, no parades for instance.

Reeve:  You want to do what?

Rufus:  Go outside.  I want to find something to tax, so i can afford to pay the EGC Crew no Sanitation.  They have started to notice that i don't pay them, and they are getting... restless...

Reeve:  (*Exasperated*)  Oh, very well.  I'll dress you up so you can pass as someone you aren't.

(*SEVERAL MINUTES LATER*)

Rufus:  Nonononono... Not like this.  I meant dress me up as a _man_.

Reeve:  But teal is your color!

Rufus:  No.  No it isn't.  And i am being pinched in very uncomfortable places.

Reeve:  (*Sighs*)

(*AGAIN SEVERAL MINUTES LATER*)

Reeve:  There.  That should work.

(*Camera reveals one "disguised" Rufus.  Really, he is just wearing a fake beard and glasses, but if you were nearly blind and he was really far away, you'd mistake him for somebody who wasn't Rufus*)

Rufus:  Are you _sure_ this will work?

Reeve:  Yes, and you aren't planning on taking that panther, are you?

Rufus:  Kinda... ummm... he is kinda visble, ain't he?

Reeve:  Indeed.  We shall have to disguse him too...

(*AGAIN TIME QUICKLY PASSES*)

Rufus: Good lord!

(*And there sits Dark Nation... wearing a sweater for a large dog, a coller, and a look that haughtily says "I am not, under any circumstances wearing either a sweater or a leash.  If anyone insinuates either, i shall teach them the meaning of the word 'pain' and perhaps the words 'face clawing'."*)

Reeve:  See, he looks nothing like himself.

Dark Nation:  ... (*Thinks*  i am not dressed up... and i think i shall claw something very shortly...)

Rufus:  We shall be off.  Now.

Reeve:  And i shall get back to bed.

(*The incognito Rufus and panther leave the room*)

Reeve:  I am good with remote controled robots... honestly, i haven't disgused myself in _years_...

[ SCENE:  The EGC bar.  The average Regs are all here, in one form or another... drinking, sleeping, playing darts, or otherwaise doing things people do in bars. ]

(*In walks a woman.  She is white, i mean _very_ white.  Not just humanly pale, but actual "White like a white crayon white."  TO offset this she's dressed in all black.  She has a top hat and umbrella, also, she wears and ankh.  If you know who she is, good fer you.  Otherwise, her _real_ name will never be mentioned*)

(*Oh, and she's leading a large chiseled man.  Crewcut and also dressed in black, he seemes vaguely familiar.  I may mention him by character, honestly i donno why he's here...*)

Man:  (*Heavy Bavarian accent*)  So, am i dead?

Woman:  Yes, i think...

Man:  So, is this heavan?

Voodoo:  (*Laughs*)

(*Well, there, broke my own promice... that coulda been Aoi, but she wasn't here for comment...*)

Aoi:  I was getting a new Eva, so sue me.

(*Sorry about that... just forget it, really... it has nothing to do with continuity, i swah*)

Man:  I was terminated, and now i am here.  I am not programmed to be philosphical, but does that mean that i have a soul?

Woman:  Well, acually you are something of a special case, so i think you have been granted what passes for a soul.  You have a conciousness, and you did great good while bieng created expressly to kill.  Again i bend my rules and your conciousness will live on and go to the sunless lands.

Man:  But why am i _here_?

Woman:  Well... I hear about this place, and i just had to see it.  You are along for the ride, so just sit back and enjoy, you may just learn something.

(*Enter:  The Disguised Pair from earlier in the post*)

Rufus:  Ahem... Howdy, umm, there.  How does it hang?

Dark Nation:  (*Looks embarrased*)

(*The pair take a seat at the bar, and proceed to order drinks.  Ok, so Rufus orders something, but DN looks like he could use a shot of something very alchoholic.  The other two walk up, the man following the woman.*)

Woman:  Ummm... hi... i couldn't help notice you kinda stick out here.

Rufus:  No!  Not at all!  I am entirely unremarkable!

Woman:  Ah, but i am incredibly observant, so i see these things.  A little tip from somebody who does this incognito thing often:  Relax.  Have fun with it.

Man:  Nice cat.

Rufus:  Its a dog!

Woman:  (*Mutters*)  Suuuuure it is...

Rufus:  Hey!  Kareoke machine!  I always took advantage of these things at the ShinRa Co. Picnics... Ahem... i mean perfectly normal company picnics....

Woman:  (*Muttering*)  Suuuuure you did...

Tune in next time for the ShinRa Co. Meeting where everybody accuses Scarlet of kidnapping Rufus, Palmer suggests an expadition to rescue the MIA Company President, Rufus starts to sing the hell out of some song or other, and the Terminator gives DN a saucer of milk...

Oh, and you didn't guess that the overly verbose man was the T-101 from T2, didja?  Well, death changes some people, yes?  And the Woman?  Well, she shall just remain a mystery for a few posts, i guess...  Unless you already know, in which case don't spoil my fun.

Johnny: Worse?! What could be worse then being dead?

Writerīs Block?

Johnny: Sure it is. ^_-

Hey! It is! >_<;; Thereīs nothing worse than sitting around all day long, knowing you donīt have any idea whatsoever what to write, and still you keep thinking and thinking and thinking... Arrgh!

Toma: Which reminds me... when dīyou try to continue that fanfic ībout me?

I knew heīd ask me that. v_v;; Look, I dunno, when did I last write anything?

Toma: Umh... plot-important or pointless?

Important oīcourse, you dumb nut. ^^;;

Toma: Well.... errh... sheesh. I dunno.

See? I guess this is whatīs keeping the others from posting as well. Either this, or theyīre just occupied with something more important. Not that Iīd know what that could be, but anyway...

Vandal: Donīt worry, itīll be alright. ^_^

Johnny: >_<;;;;;;

Oh no! TOMA!!! Get the straitjacket and the gag! Johnnyīs about to do it again!

Toma: WHAT...?!? Shoot, Iīll be right back! *runs off and comes back with both*

[Dust Clouds enshroud the scene. When they are gone, we see Johnny, tied up in a straightjacket and with a leather gag in his mouth, struggling madly to break free]

Twostein! Twostein!! The tranquilizer, quick!!

Twostein: Yez, immeediately! *gives Johnny a full load of tranquilizer thatīd be enough to put a whale to sleep*

Phew. *wipes sweat of his forehead* Now, Vandal... I think you should really get rid of that Smiley -- Iīm not uttering it, now that we know the effects on Johnny.

Vandal: I already told you, I cahmpf!

*clamps his hand over Vandalīs mouth* NO, youīll NOT finish this sentence!! Thereīs going to be IT at the end, we all know that. Iīm sorry Vandal, but thereīs only one thing I can do do prevent Johnny from going nuts...

Vandal: *eyes widen in horror* Hmpf? HMMPF!!?? HMM, HMM!! Hmpf, hmpf hph hmmphm! Hmph!

Sorry, but... *draws a small, oblong thing from his pocket*

Toma: Eh? Whatīs that?

RL Equipment. This is The Remote Control.

Toma: Yeah, whatever. Whatīs it do?

Weeeell... basically like the ones for TV, but this works for WS.

Toma: WS?

Written Stuff. I can freeze -- sorry, pause the scene or people, or do a Fast Rewind or a Fast Forward. Of course, Iīm not affected by it, and all other RLs arenīt either; but all the Written Stuff is. Oh, and donīt try to steal it and try it out. Itīs secured and only works for RL-people.

Toma: Damn! >_< But whatīcha gonna do with it?

Hmm. Since itīs the only option left, Iīll have to resort to this... *presses the button that has written "Mute" on it*

Vandal: ???

Toma: Hey! It really worked!

Vandal: !!!

Sure it did. Itīs RL stuff, it always works. Like Dotīs Anvils.

Toma: Thatīs "anvils".

Heh... you werenīt hit by one of Them.

Toma: ^^;;;

Hey, It continues!
     And yes, Rufus _will_ sing, but some other
     things gotta start happening too...

Ahhh... well, i _guess_ there are other people here, but mayhaps they are bieng polite and letting me tack some more action on to the end of that last thing... ah well, lets roll, shoshanna!

Voodoo:  What the hell is that?!

Donno... it looks kinda avant-guard, donnit?

Voodoo:  Yeah, but _still_ what's it doing there?

Hmmm... mayhaps the narrator thinks i'll be all envelope pushing in this post...

Voodoo:  Why not just admit you are in the grips of a terrible writer's block?

(*Koff*)  Ummm... i'm not in a writer's block...

Lyric:  Then, why no post in a week?  I mean its been a while since Rufus did anything and he's going for the kareoke machine...

Rufus:  I am a perfectly normal citzen.

Woman:  Yeah.  Exaaaaactly.  Oh, by the way, i have word from a friend of mine.

For me?

Woman:  Yes, she says you may need this, what with falling anvils and all.  (*Proffers Umbrella*)

Why thank you!  This shall definately come in handy, what with the rain of anti-hentai projectiles... i do have a thing for the double entendre...

(*Whistleing Noise*)

Woman:  Ah, incoming...

Thankyamuch! (*Opens umbrella*)  (*CLANG*)  Wow, it worked...

Woman:  And it won't work forever, its just an umbrella.

Oh, darnit!  Ah well, i guess i just watch my mouth from here on out.

Woman:  Good advice.

Man:  Good kitty.  (*Hands DN a saucer of milk*)

Dark Nation:  ... (*Thinks:  How embarrasing, but it is milk after all*)

Sorry, i swear i am trying to get something written here, but alas, i am having to bend my talents toward essays for school and such.  Pretty soon though, its all EGC, ya know?  And the translation courtesy of Bablefish.  Why did i do it?  I have no idea.

Yes, things must happen afore Rufus sings, and mayhaps i put events in motion prematurely, but i check with people first though, 's only polite, you know?

*Yep, it's time for VoidStar and friends to finally reappear! Post post post post....o.O;; Sorry 'bout that, I think Lime possessed my body.  Aaaanyway, we shall begin at the Bar (where else? ^_^)....*

Aoi: Hmmmph.  I'm bored.

Asuka: *Sighs* I shouldn't care, but why?

Aoi: Kaworu-niisama's getting a job, Rei isn't here, Hugh isn't here....

Asuka: So what? I'm glad they're gone!

Aoi: *Grins* But they're the only ones who torment you as much as I do!

Asuka: >_<;;

Tifa: Ž_Ž No tormenting the bouncer.

Aoi: Hai, fine.  ^^; I'm gonna go look for something to do, dammit.  Where the Hell is Lyn-chan, anyway?! *Walks out of the bar*

*Elsewhere in the EGC bar....*

Alberto: *Soused* @_@ Ne, Taishou....why aren't we fighting? *Hic*

Taisou: *Same* @_@ I dunno, Mr. Shockwave.  Too drunk, I guess.

Alberto: Oh well.  *Falls out of his chair* @^@

Kenji: _These_ morons are two of the strongest Espers on Earth? Yeesh.  ^^

Terra: Nani? ^^;

Ginrei: -_-;; Not you, Terra.

Youshi: ^^;;;

*Meanwhile....*

Kaworu: Ne, Roísin-dono....^^; I know I'm your bodyguard and all, but it would help if I knew more details.  Who or what, precisely, am I protecting you from?

Roísin: Well....

*Will Aoi find something to entertain her, or will she be forced to resort to tormenting peoples' minds again? Will Taisou and Alberto sober up enough to settle their rivalry? And what does Roísin want Kaworu to protect her from? All questions shall be answered in due course!

And now, finally, a Chatty post..!

Kaworu: Ne, Roisin-dono....^^; I know I'm your bodyguard and all, but it would help if I knew more details. Who or what, precisely, am I protecting you from?

Roísin: Well...

(*Cinematic cut-in courtesy of Chatty and the letter C*)

Roisin: It's a bit of a complicated explanation, really .... I'm running away ... from the last person who saved my life.

Kaworu:  N-nani?

Roisin: It's a cultural thing I already told Reno-san about. Where I come from, if somebody risks their own life to save yours, they automatically own your life ... and nearly everything that goes with it.

Kaworu: .......

(*Arbitrary End of Transmission!   Take it from there, Voids!*)

The shortest things in life are sweet ... no, waitaminnit, that's not it ... oh, who cares.  Why don't I just say something completely pointless down here in some illogical and incoherant manner like --

Zero: No!!  Don't say it!!

Huh?  What's wrong with mentioning Vogel?

Vogel: Can't lose balance, that's equilibrium, and the melody's just a bit cinderblocky for Paradise City but they'll take the ship up to Bar Harbor without the brunky smell, y'know?

Oh.  Whoops.

Zero:  Now see what you've done!   He's babbling nonsense!

Um ... and that's different from his normal behavior because..?

Zero: (*grumble mumble grumble*)

Vogel:  Quinine placebos? (*piku*)

Zero:  Shut up, Vogel.

Vogel: (*looking very hurt*) Fuzzy broken parsley shells ... (*big watery sad on-the-verge-of-hoover-dam-tears eyes*)

Zero: Oh alright, FINE, you're forgiven!  Babble all you want!  Geez ...

Vogel: (*sniffle*) Thanks, you're a real fisherman's nothing. ^^

Zero: (*sarcastically*) Oh, don't mention it.

Err, yeah, don't mention it, this is a footnote, and yet it's getting to be longer than the post itself ... ai yai yai ...

Hey, i figured it was time...
     For a short one, atleast... just to say i'm still here...

Modem:  (*SCREEEEEEEECH*  *Burble*  *SCREEEEEEECH*)

Wow that's loud... and wierd-sounding...  And long...  But _damn_!  52,000 connection!  (*Faints*)

Lyric:  Hmmm... and _that's_ the RL?  I'm embarrased... i'd slink off, but i don't have legs...  anyhow, HARD RULE!

Tifa:  Why thank you!

(*Its no problem*)

: Aaaaaaaghhhhh... (*Hit by falling fourth wall*)

Plant: ... (*Thinks*  He's _OK_!  Insofar as a zombie may be, that is.)

(*Yawn*)  I'm bored...

Clone:  Me too.  I wanna do something... what's Voodoo up to?

She's outside blowing up parked cars.

Clone:  We have _cars_ here?

Good question...  Voodoo, do we have cars here?

Voodoo:  Yup... fewer than before, but yup.

(*Shakes head*)  Property damage _is_ fun, so i can't speak out against it, just try not to get arrested, i can only save you so many times.

Voodoo:  There aren't police here, remember, there's a clean up crew though.  I just gave them something to do.

Oh, that's ok then.

Rufus:  So, this commoner thing is easy and fun, i should do it more often...

SCENE:  Some board room.

Reeve:  (*Nervously bangs gavel*)  I... umm... call this meeting... errr... to order?

Palmer:  Why did we make you interum director while Rufus is missing -

Scarlet:  (*Sniffle*)

Palmer:  Anyway, while he is missing anyway?

Reeve:  Cause i asked first and grabbed the gavel before any of you!

Palmer:  So, where is the boss anyway? I have _no_ idea.

Reeve:  Donno.

Heidigger:  I have no clue.

Scarlet:  I do not know.

(*All eyes swivel to Scarlet, except her own, which can't do that kinda thing.*)

Scarlet:  What?

Palmer:  This isn't like last time, is it?

Scarlet:  Why do you keep bringing that up!?

Heidigger:  Its not every day that the Shinra Co. President dissapears and is found days later in your closet!

Scarlet:  You said you'd drop that!  And he ended up there on his own!

Reeve:  Suuuuure....

:  Where's that DK guy anyhow?

:  Donno.  He just kinda slipped out during the Huitzil thing...

:  I wonder where he's off to...

:  You ask same question twice!

:  Thanks...

: Oi nevah eveahn got ter shaw up!

: Oh shut up!

I apoligize for the lack of coherancy in the last few posts.  Especially the Spanish one... (*Shakes head*)  What was i thinking!  Actually, i think i have cut this one short...  Tune in next time for Rufus asking Roisin for a song, and mayhas some singing of his own... am i just stringing you on with this Rufus-singing thing?  Not even!  Mayhaps i do a trio with Roisin, myself and Rufus., ya never know.