*Woohoo! With my assassin battle over, I can just toss my characters into the roach brawl while the other RLs resolve their own plot details! Let the slaughter begin!*
Tifa: All right! Anti-Roach Strike Force, split into battle units and move out! You know your divisions!
Anti-Roach Strike Force: Hai!!
Jenova: Errr....where's Aerith, anyway?
Tifa: Well....I was hoping to keep her uninvolved in the battle....so she's helping Ritsuko and the Shito Sentai look after Hugh.
Jenova: But she'd be so useful! She can cast Holy at will now!! She should be here!
Tifa: *Shakes her head vigorously* No no no! Too dangerous. Look, I'll explain later.
Jenova: o.O Hai hai....
*Anti-Roach Strike Force Battle Unit 1: The Soul Calibur Division, led by Ivy. The trio moves north through EGC, levelling all roaches they encounter.*
Ivy: *Draws her snakeblade* We've got incoming, guys! ^_^ Let's rock and roll!
Xianghua: *Draws her sword* Ivy-sempai, you shouldn't enjoy this so much!
Sophitia: *Already has her sword and shield out* Don't bother, Xianghua-san. Just keep on guard! *Slashes down a roach*
Ivy: *Smirks* That's why I love ya, Sophi-chan! *With a flick of her wrist, Ivy's sword becomes a bladed whip* Let's rock! *Swinging her sword in a wide arc, Ivy cuts down rank after rank of roaches*
Xianghua: *Rolls her eyes and plunges into the battle, cutting down roaches with swift and precise strikes*
Ivy: *Dicing roaches with abandon* Situation's well in hand here! How're the others doing, I wonder....?
*Battle Unit Two: Wheel of Time Division, led by Lanfear, headed east. Sucks to be roaches.*
Cyndane: I don't get it. Why are we on this stupid rooftop? The roaches are down there! *Points to swarms of roaches in the streets beneath them*
Lanfear: *Sniffs arrogantly* And dirty ourselves amongst those vermin? Hah! The very idea....From here, you see, we can strike without a chance of them retaliating effectively!
Semirhage: I quite agree. Now then, let's begin, shall we?
Lanfear: *Fwaps Semirhage* Hey! I'm in charge here. Now then, let's begin, shall we?
Mesaana: -_-;;; Lanfear....
Lanfear: *Glowers* What?! Shut up and fall in for a circle, you three!
*The three legendary channelers link hands and concentrate. The power gathering within them is palpable, even to those with no experience in wielding the True Source. The vast energies focus into Lanfear, who spins them out into delicate threads of Fire and Air--threads which physically manifest themselves as huge forks of lightning, striking down from the clear sky into the roach army. Thousands and thousands of bolts rip through the cockroach ranks, scattering the few survivors and shattering the east flank.*
Lanfear: *Grins as she watches the roaches flee* Never underestimate the Forsaken! ^_^v Victory!
*Battle Unit Three: The Elementals of Xenogears, headed west.*
Dominia: *Chuckles, watching the oncoming roach warriors* Okay, Elementals....*Draws her sword* Let's make this fast. You know the play. Hit the sword on my mark. Ready?
Kelvena: Ready.
Tolone: Ready....
Seraphita: Ready! *Giggles*
Dominia: *Raises her sword above her hands* NOW!!!
*Dominia's sword burns with a radiant aura of raw Ether--an aura which is increased threefold as the other Elementals lend their own power to the weapon. From Kelvena flows a stream of Water Ether, from Tolone comes Wind Ether, and from Seraphita comes Fire Ether. The three bend every ounce of Ether energy they can summon, until a shimmering field of multi-colored brilliance visible for miles around engulfs Dominia's weapon.*
*The roaches stop and stare in wonderment at the blazing energy. Many "ooohs" and "aaahs" are heard.*
Dominia: *Grins darkly* Bai bai, Roach-chan-tachi....
*Dominia takes a single stride forward--and disappears, moving far too fast for a human eye to follow. Only the rainbow aura of her sword gives any indicator as to where she is--but her attack comes far too soon for the roaches to do anything about it. In mere seconds, hundreds of the insects lay dead. Within five minutes, the western front of the roach army is gone, and Dominia stands alone amongst the wreckage, breath coming in deep droughts.*
Dominia: *Grins, wiping sweat from her brow* Aaaah....that was fun. ^_^
*And finally, Battle Unit Four: Giant Robo division, headed by Taisou, going south.*
Taisou: *Takes a swig of sake* All riiiiiight....let's paaaar-taaaaay! ^_^
Alberto: Dammit, Taisou! We're supposed to be fighting each other, not on the same side!!
Youshi: *Bonks Alberto with her staff* Save it, buddy. Let's break 'em off something with these roaches!
Taisou: Right! We're gonna stop these things long-range. *Charges electromagnetic energy around his fists*
Ginrei: *Draws a very, very large gun out of pocketspace* Couldn't agree more! ^_^ *Levels it*
Kenji: *Chuckles and draws several slim, razor-sharp knives* I'm up for it....
Taisou: Then go nuts! ^_^ *Bursts of electrical energy fly from his palms, flaring up in destructive blasts within the roach ranks*
Alberto: For once, you bastard, I agree. *Alberto shows how he earned the nickname "Impactor"--huge shockwaves rip forth at his command, sweeping roaches away with unimagineable force, tearing the ground apart beneath the feet of the army, and generally making a chaotic mess.*
Ginrei: *Calmly picking off roaches with shrapnel-spewing anti-personnel shells, aiming and firing with deadly swiftness*
Kenji: *Striking down roaches with a seemingly endless supply of throwing knives--and due to Author Magic, the supply is endless. ^_-*
Youshi: *Using her staff as a long range weapon through its rather unique properties--it extends to impossible lengths, punching through roach soldiers by the dozens*
*Aaaah, chaos. ^_^ How I love thee. Well, the roach conflict seems to be well at hand!! Now, to see how the more plot point-related things turn out, eh? ^_- Until next time....*
End communication.
Roach Leader: I don't believe you! Losing to a bunch of humans! We roaches were supposed to live forever!
Roach Tactician (muttered): Told you we should have just waited to nuke themselves to death...
Roach Leader (furious): SILENCE!
It immeadiately becomes so quiet that one can almost hear crickets chirping, had there been any around. Additionally, all of the roaches' are so intent on watching what their illustrious leader will do next that they don't notice the slight shimmering in the shadowy corner of the building. Nor do they notice the Goddess or the Sailor Soldier materializing from said shadow.
Roach Leader: Those humans wouldn't have gotten the upper hand if you had done your job! But did you? No! I have never seen such a stupid, cowardly band of roaches!
Random Roach (whispered): But isn't that part of being a roach?
Roach Leader (even angrier): QUIET, OR I'LL USE THE SLIPPER (tm) ON THE LOT OF YOU!
Silence reigns yet again. Meanwhile, Sailor Minerva has tiptoed to the other side of the room. Saftely behind several large crates, she flips a thumbs up to Falora.
Falora (thinking): Well, here goes!
Roach Leader: From now on, the gloves are off! The strictest dicipline shall be enforced here. We shall strike back at the humans and prove that we are superior once and for all!
Falora takes a deep breath and stands up.
Falora: Excuse me.
The MRA turns as one. Falora gulps, but summons her courage.
Falora: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Falora, Goddess Second Class Limited of Yggsadril's Goddess Help Office. By order of the Supreme Authority, I order you to stop your invasion of the human realm.
The roaches look at Falora, then at each other, and burst out laughing.
Roach Leader (amused): Really? And what will you do if we don't stop?
Falora (solemnly): Do not mock the wrath of Heaven.
The roaches laugh even harder.
Roach Leader (contemptuously): Is that so? Well, Miss Goddess, I mock you and your Heavenly Wrath! (he makes a face) Mock mock mock!
Falora has a hard time not laughing herself as the Roach Leader makes various experssions at her. When it becomes apparant that the MRA has no intention of giving up, Falora turns to her right.
Falora: Now.
The laughing turns into startled gasps as Sailor Minerva rises with the Reformed Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch in her hand.
Sailor Minerva (pulling the pin): I always knew that softball camp would come in handy some day.
The MRA erupts into a panicked mass as Sailor Minerva executes a perfect under-handed pitch, tossing the Grenade into the midst of the Army, and then ducks back behind the crates. Thanks to a little meddling from Falora, none of the roaches are able to find the exit.
Various Roaches: Aiee! Help! Get me out of here! Mommy! I don't want to die!
Heavenly Chorus: o/ Halleluja! Halleluja! Halleluja! Halleluja! Halleluja! o/
There is a bright light.
Elaine: Are you sure we're going in the right direction?
Ryouga: Trust me. I've traveled the world tens of times!
Elaine: But we just passed a sign saying "Welcome to Abu Dhabi"...
Drumroll please...
Alex: The Big Arse Slipper!
o/ Dun dun daaaaaaaaaaah! o/
Alex: I shall have my revenge! Wahahahahaha!
Remembering what happened the last time, Alex wisely tones down his megalomanical laugh so that he can still breathe when he's done..
(Authoress' Note: The Reformed Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch only destroys living beings, not objects. Why else would Falora be authorized to use it?)
Sailor Minerva (staring at the bits of roaches): Wow.
Falora: You should see the real Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Only First Class Unlimited Goddesses are allowed to use those.
Sailor Minerva: O_o; Okay...I think I'll take your word for it. (aside) If this is what the fifth most powerful weapon does, I'd hate to see the other four weapons above it...
Of course, that definitely wasn't the entire MRA army that got wiped out...a truly evil villain always has more than one Top Secret Hideout, ne? :)
Part 2 -- Hella battle, seriously
[ SCENE: The Warehouse from the end of the last post ]
[ When we left our hero, he was in an unidentified warehouse, floating about a few feet above a catwalk, and looking foreboding as all get out... ]
Well well well, it seems the shoe is on the other foot, as it were...
Raba: Why would you say that?
Ummm.... I guess its just a thing i felt like i should say... I guess... Ya know, threatening and all that...
Raba: And whyever should _you_ threaten _us_? You are on our grounds and we have won the first round "as it were."
Lava: Besides, its hard to be all threatening when you are covered with recently unfrozen water... I think its time for a little (*Taps chin thoughtfully*) a little... FIREBALL!!
(*Bwoosh*)
(*Sizzle*)
Lava: Think we got, 'im? I mean he was in the middle of a fireball... And he had been in the middle of shifting that fireshield to an ice one, so it couldn't have fully protected him... right?
Raba: Don't count your chickens before they hatch, brother of mine... (*leans toward the smoaking ruin that was once an edge of the catwalk*)
(*Floats through the smoke, encased in the purple silver and black armor, steel wings aided by rockets located between them*) Hi, guys... (*Waves*) I almost forgot about this thing... would have been a tragedy, right?
Lava: Where _does_ he get those wonderful toys?
Raba: I was wondering that myself...
Lava: Tin can or no, you'll still fry just as well, Rat Flamethrower! (*A lance of flame spears from one outstreated paw, striking its target [me... duh...] square in the chest*)
(*Brushes the soot from the dark green jewel in the center of the brestplate*) Hmmm... a bit unseasonably warm, don't you think? Ya know what, my turn! (*With a flick of his wrist, he sends an arc of electricity sweeping into the mutant duo*)
Raba: (*Koff Koff*) Now i get to try... Ice Impale! (*Huge icicles erupt from the walls, all spearing with breakneck spead at the flying ninjaboy... and they all shatter broken by the armor*)
(*Laugh*) _You_ were sent to assassinate me? I don't know how you got the drop on me before, but never again! (*Aims lasers, fires*) I bet this is all i need to win this charade!
Lava: Izzat all you got!? 'Cause we gots something you ought to see, right sis?
Raba: Most definately...
(*The two mutant rats stand and face the hovering ninja in robot armor.*)
Raba and Lava: (*Both in cool and collected voices*) Twin flare.
(*Red and blue streams of energy spring into being and then coalesce into one wide band of purple energy that more than unnerringly speeds at Shinobi*)
(*The armor takes and absorbs the blast... but only barely. [it shudders, it quakes, it squeels, etc]*)
Oh krap, this isn't good...
Lava: Oh, and now the shoe is _really_ on the other foot! Lets do it one _more_ time...
Raba: Agreed! (*Ahem*) Twin flare...
(*Another spectacular lightshow ensues... and Shinobi is flung backwards, hitting the wall with enough force to cause a spiderweb of cracks to form almost floor to ceiling... the armor groans once more, and grows silent*)
Damn damn damn... stupid hubris! There has to be a way out of this... Gotta think back to my training...
<Flashback>
Young Shinobi: Master, what would i do if ever i am faced with a pair of mutant rat assassins wielding incredibly power?
Hooded Master: Preparing for something that would never happen would be self defeating, would it not?
Young Shinobi: But still... i mean really, it could be useful... ya think?
Hooded Master: No. Now back to the kabal excesises, lets see that form!
</Flashback>
Well, that was a huge bloody load of help, wasn't it...?
Lava: Not a whole lot! Burst rondo! (*Boom boom boom*)
Rhetorical question!! (*Struggles to move in the now inoperative armor... He dodges quite a few blasts, but enough connect... the armor shudders again and collapses into its respective pieces, plates, and parts*) Oh, you are seriously going to pay for that! Do you know how much that _cost_ me!
Raba: No, and we don't care much either... Cold blast! (*Freezing wind blows from the rat's paw, chilling the air in its path and knocking the ninja back against the wall behind him*)
Ouch! _Stop_ that! (*Sigh*) I promiced her i wouldn't use it, but i'm sure she'll understand... (*closes his eyes and collects his thoughts... when his eyes open again, he is holding a scythe, an average, ordinary scythe*) Rock on, i still have it! The battle isn't over yet, rats! (*Rakes scythe in a semicircle before him, carving an arc in the floor*) En guarde! (*Spins toward the rats, farm implement first*)
Lava: This guy doesn't know when to give up, does he?
Raba: But if he did, would there need to be both of us? Ice Brand! (*Blue glowing sword forms*)
Lava: i guess not... Flame blade! (*Red glowing sword forms in his hand*)
(*I'd like you ask you, as the reader to do me a little favor... I can't adiquately do this segment of the battle justice, so i'd like you to envision the most evenly matched battle between three opponents you can, one man fighting two mutants designed to distroy him. Put just about as much badass as you could possibly pack into a wordless exchange of melee combat, and you have pretty much done the job of this description... Let it go on in your mind for about 10 mins, and you are then its time for the next _big_ event*)
Raba: This is getting us nowhere, i think its time to stop playing games
Lava: Damn straight... shall we use the hidiously overpowered attack?
Raba: Yes. Twin _Sword_ Flare!
(*And you thought the last lightshow was the one to end all others... not so. The rats toss their swords at each other, in midair the swords collide, twisting and reforming into one hell of a giant blazing purple sword [think one of those huge astral blades of Master's from Toshinden 2]. The sword rips through the air, flying through all attempts to guard*)
(*For censorship purposes, all you get to see is a black screen, momentarially cut by a line of firey red... and then a silhouette falling to its knees*)
Lava: Why didn't we do that _sooner_? I mean from the very start?
Raba: (*Chuckle*) To build dramatic tension, my dear brother... on to phase two?
Lava: (*Laugh*) That would be the plan, wouldn't it?
(*The two rats walk off... part of their mission accomplished...*)
[ SCENE: The battle ]
Lyric: I sence a great disturbance in the Force.
Voodoo: Seriously?
Lyric: Yes... Something big just went down... And it doesn't involve the rout of the roachish grunt forces...
Clone: Awww... and we were doing so well.... I swear the combined might of the Regs has shattered their battle lines...
Voodoo: Yeah, they all retreated... they must be regrouping somewhere...
Lyric: Just a question, but has anyone seen an RL anywhere in this battle?
Voodoo: You know, that's a damn good point! I haven't seen hide nor hair of our usual commanders...
Clone: How... odd... What exactly do we do now?
Lyric: I... don't know... Hmmm.....
Voodoo: Exactly... (*Shakes head*)
[ SCENE: Back in the warehouse, still charred, cracked and extremely battle scarred ]
Voice: Good _god_! I can't believe that _worked_... Hurt like anything though... But still, soul transferance is a sophisticated use of the magic, Boddy would be proud... I _still_ can't believe i survived that sword. That has to be the most powerful attack i've ever seen... Wait a second, where in the name of everything that's holy _am_ i anyway...
(*Shadowy figure steps out of the smoke and soot*)
(*It certainly _sounds_ like Shinobi... but it looks like...*)
Hmmm... I don't think i quite made it to a body, did i? Looks down... i'm kind of a wraith, aren't i? Aw crud... I don't mean to whine, but i lost all my stuff, my powers and, apparently, my body... Atleast i'm not a lich or anything... Waitasec, there's _one_ clone of me, there must be more! Ya know, that whole where there's one there's forty! (*Ghostly form ponders*) Or is that cockroaches? (*Shudder*) Oh well, i've got to think of a plan to take those rats down... And get new stuff...
(*Wraith floats off... muttering to itself*)
Seriously they owe me for the armor atleast...
You didn't seriously think i'd _die_ or anything, did ya? (*Laugh*) Not even! What i'm going to do now, i have _no_ idea... It may be leading up to something, you never really know with me... (*Smirk*) And finally, yes, i _do_ get payed by the plot twist...
I hope i used all the right font colors...
(*SD salute*)