[Chatty]
Chatty: Look, I don't care if you're mine RL! You're a crazy nutcase and I am *NOT* depressed!
But --
Chatty: I don't care! Get rid of that shrink!
I can't!
Chatty: Then hire him yourself!
I already have a shrink!
Chatty: Yeah, but you need two ... heck, you need a baseball team's worth ...
Alright, that's it. I'm sending you down to deal with D'Épargner, since I kinda left the poor guy hanging there and all on that cliffhanger ... (I am Minister of Redundancy Minster!)
Chatty: Uh ... huh? Why? How? Eh?
Ah and yeah and because and just start walking so a plot contrivance can pop up and since when were you Canadian?
Chatty: Since when was I a flying cat?
(*snaps fingers*)
Chatty: Heee-- (*poof*)
There ... (*smirk*) Now where was I?
(*Meanwhile, down at streets outside coabscissa number nine -- err, I mean, the Café-Mieke -- a little rat creature paces back and forth, pausing occasionally to glance warily at the café ...*)
Hanpan: (*muttering*) Darn that Dr. Gerbil ...
(*Finally, the little rat creature known as Hanpan -- what, you don't know Hanpan?! Iie! A true tragedy! -- pauses and knocks at the air in front of the café.*)
(*Little ripples of light fan out from the area of "impact".*)
Hanpan: No way through. (*sigh*)
(*Suddenly ...*)
(*POOF!*)
Chatty: --eeeey!!
Hanpan: Wha? (*backs off*)
Chatty: Uh? (*blink blink*) A rat?! An icky, germy, flea-infested RAT!! AAAAH!!
Hanpan: HEY! Watch who you're calling flea-infested, you flying rug!
Chatty: I'm not a rug! I'm a ca-- err, dragon!
Hanpan: If you're trying to pretend you can speak Welsh, you aren't fooling anyone.
Chatty: Wuh?
Hanpan: "Caerdragon". It's incorrect, "dragon" being English derived from Greek. "Caerdraig", would be more accurate, and even then I doubt that you're a Fortress Dragon.
Chatty: Uh .... and, err, what makes you say that?
Hanpan: You're a puny furry thing, and Fortress Dragons have a tendency to be ... well, fortress-sized. Thus the name, obviously.
Chatty: Ah ... err ... yeah, but ... uh ... I'm still bigger than .... you..?
Hanpan: Oh, what a threateningly question..! Look, I'm quaking with fear!
Chatty: ..... look, I haven't got time for this! (*flying up*) There's a guy in there I have to bother with!
Hanpan: In the café? Wait! Watch out for the --
(*WHAM!*)
Hanpan: -- Warp Bubble ...
Chatty: Orororo ... (*detaches self from invisible barrier and falls with a whump*)
Hanpan: Pathetic ... and don't say I didn't warn you, either.
Chatty: Argh ... what was --
Hanpan: I've said it twice already -- it's a WARP BUBBLE. Time inside it is passing extremely slowly ... or time outside is passing absurdly fast. In any case, nothing that the authors haven't bothered to mention happening in it has had any time to happen.
Chatty: Sheyeah right, and I sprout venus flytraps from my --
(*Hey!*)
Chatty: -- ears. What?
Hanpan: Fine by me if you don't believe it. Ignore the fact that none of the people inside are moving, that the smoke from the café owner's cigarette is frozen in place, and that the contents of a very hot cup of tea still haven't made their way to the floor after being spilled, despite the fact that any ignoramus with a pair of eyes and the sense to look in the window could see that ...
Chatty: (*squints*) Looks like a hyperrealist piece. (*flits about*) In any case, there's another explanation. I'm not frozen in time, I'm bruised! Why would a discongrinuity in relative timing make a physical barrier, eh?
Hanpan: The air molecules in the slowed area within the warp bubble would, from this relative point of view, be moving so slowly as to technically qualify as a solid without actually being one. Or to put it simply, you smashed into solid nitrogen at high velocity.
Chatty: Err ... but what about the flashy lights and stuff, eh? Eh?
Hanpan: Author showing off.
Chatty: Oh.
(*Long pause.*)
Chatty: Know where it came from?
Hanpan: Heck yes. Dr. Gerbil put it up.
Chatty: Uh ...
Hanpan: Fanfic villain, furry mad scientist ... of all people, you should know that.
Chatty: Why?
Hanpan: Because you're an anti-Marysue Self Insert!
Chatty: Wha.. how'd you guess that?
Hanpan: It's a secret.
Chatty: (*bhingk*) AAAAH!! XELLOSS!!
Hanpan: What? (*blink blink*)
Chatty: Err ... ah ... sorry, gut reaction ... eh heh ... ^^;;
There! That's it! And what a shock -- no FFV cameos at all! Not even Galuf or the supreme Merugene!
[Sikaryan]
Twostein: Hei, hoo arre yoo kalling a schrink?
Uhm... you?
Twostein: Aye hawe newer bean inzulted laik siz! Scheym on yoo!
Sheesh... I really should give him extra English lessons... I mean, can anyone understand him? Apart from me, īcourse, but Iīm The Author and German myself, so I donīt count anyway...
Johnny: You are German? Then why arenīt you talking with a German accent? Itīs the cliché!
*hot glare* (*And I do mean hot!*)
Johnny: W-whatīs it now? Oo;;
I will not, never, and under no circumstances whatsoever, start talking like him! I canīt stand people who talk like that! I canīt! Iīve vowed to myself that should I ever catch myself talking like that, I will commit Seppuku! And thatīs final!!! >_<;;;
Johnny: Sheesh...
WHAT!?? >_<;;;
Johnny: Look at yourself... youīve started talking in italics...
Yikes! O_o
Twostein: Aye īoneztlih sink yoo nead mai help...
[Jelynne]
*whimper* I'm Lost!
*whisper, whisper*
Oh, like YOU could have done better!
*whisper, whisper*
Fine then. I'll see if I can materialize you, and then we'll see if you can find your way around here. (darn city's like a maze...)
[Chatty ("Multilingual lingualism comes at the price of no one being able to understand a damn word you say even in your native language!")]
Err ... Twostein is German?
Well, DUH, what did you think he was?
(*flips through book*) American Quacktype #35-and-a-half.
Uh ...
"Bad Einstein/Freud imitation."
Twostein: Hei! I am nocht a qvack!
"Nocht a qvack"? Hey, Chats, he's beginning to talk like you!
Shaddup.
Mr. Twostein, have you ever talked of Political Silence? Have you ever accidentally left out all the /r/s in a sentence or turned all of them into /l/s? Do you accidentally slip into German or Japanese in casual moments? Have you been known to screech insults in 4 languages at once while cussing someone out? Do you say "Ie!"?
Twostein: Vhat?
He doesn't. Now stop --
He speaks better English than you do, and you were born here!
Okay, okay, so I have Multilingualist's Syndrome.
(*giggles*) "Aber Mutte~~~~r!!"
Err ... bad multilingualist's syndrome?
No, you're just subversive and slow, yet oddly retentive.
Uh ...
Oooh, wow, nifty! MSTings!! (*chomp*)
Whew. (*wipes forehead*)
[Sikaryan]
Twostein: Hmph! Ant vhat doo yoo sink vhere Einstein ant Feud keym frrom?? Sat iz zoh typikal forr yoo Amerikens... Imperialistik Piks!
Ho ho ho, keep it low, okay? Iīd have to mute you if you keep this up.
Twostein: Ach! Yoo! Yoo! Aye zpit on yoo! *ptui!*
That does it. Johnny!
Johnny: Yessir!?
Remove this Cameo.
Johnny: Yes SAH!! *draws Devastator Gun, sets it to Desintegrate, aims and...*
*BOOOOM!*
*tinkle*tinkle*fizz*
Twostein: Autsh... X_x
[Jelynne]
*Jelynne is typing away at a keyboard and muttering to herself*
*mumble* I hate coding... *mutter, mutter, mumble*
*whisper, whisper...*
*POP*
Disembodied Verity:... getting closer... Hey! I'm audible!
*type, mutter, grumble*
Disembodied Verity: Okay, I have a voice now, but where's the rest of me?
Give me a minute! Do you have any idea how hard it is to manifest a soul? If you weren't a part of my computer, I couldn't do it at all.
Disembodied Verity: But you can do it, right?
*absently* Sure I can. *starts muttering to herself again* Maybe if I route it through the city's holographic matrix... *type, type*
*a form gradually appears. it wavers and flicks in and out of focus at first, but then solidifies into the form of a girl in her mid to late teens with bright purple hair and matching eyes, wearing a blouse and a long skirt*
Verity: *studies her appearance, then smiles widely* Oh, this is wonderful! Thank you, Jelynne! *she runs to hug the still-typing Jelynne*
... nearly got it... *notices Verity* Verity, wait! You're not...
*Verity hugs Jelynne. There is a tremendous electrical discharge, and Jelynne falls down*
x.X
Verity: Jelynne are you okay? What happened?
*starting to come out of it...* @.@ oog.
Verity: Jelynne, stop moaning and get up!
Okay, okay. I'm up, I'm up.
Verity: What happened?
I didn't finish, and yo're not all here yet. And since I routed you through a holographic system, you're mostly electricity...
Verity: Oh great, just great. *she stomps her foot, with an odd crunching sound*
My keyboard!
Verity: Oops. Sorry 'bout that.
You'd better be. Now you're stuck like that. *picks up the remains of her keyboard and cradles it in her arms* My poor board...
Verity: umn... Jelynne...
What?
Verity: We appear to be surrounded.
What? *looks up. She and Verity are surrounded by roaches with Uzis* Where'd they come from?
Verity: They're most likely a result of one of the sub-clauses of plothole manipulation.
Oh. The one that says: 'Drop something into a plothole, and something else will drop out'?
Verity: that would be the one. And you did drop Jo-chan into that plothole...
Great. *starts counting roaches*
Roach Squad Commander: Where the heck are we now?
Misc. Roach: Dunno, sir.
Roach Squad Leader: Oh well, it doesn't matter. Commence mass destruction, troops!
Roaches: Yessir!
Ohboy. *looks around for somebody. Anybody* help?
[Voidstar]
*A very disheveled, tired, but happy-looking VoidStar drags himself into the bar*
Hey, minna! :D Guess who's back after an unannounced leave of absence!
Rei: *Walks in just behind him, carrying the baby* ^_^;; It's been too long since we've been here, ne?
Aoi: Hai hai, well, it's not out fault!
*Note from RL-VS: This is true. ^_^ Between temporary Internet banning, general school business, and the bitchiness of final exams, I've been regrettably lax in EGC posting. Sigh. But the school year is drawing to a close, so I'M BACK, BABY!!! Oh, and I've even brought a new friend! Say hi, Shenlae!*
Shenlae: Er, hi. ^^;;;
*Don't worry, she's not as shy as she looks. ^_^ Not shy at all, in fact. Shenlae's a character from a story I'm planning and semi-writing! :D Be nice or she'll kick your ass!*
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