Yuna-neko:  Oh ho ho!   Link is here!  Hahaha ... oh, Arisu-chan will have no choice but to bring out ... KLINK!!

(*Out steps this chibi little pointy-eared kid in red, obviously sugar-high, with majorly spiky anime hair and brandishing a wooden sword*)

Klink:  I am Klink, savior of the 8-bit Universe!  I will hack all bad thingies into miserable pulp and gooey bits!  And I had better get paid for it!

Yuna-neko:  Ladies and gentlemen, meet Klink -- the Zelda Parody Star!  The RL-Chatty's _oldest_ parody character of them all!

Klink: (*bowing*) Thankee, thankee ... please, just throw money. ^_^

Yuna-neko:  Everything that Link is, he is not!  And more so!

Klink: (*swinging wooden sword around*) I am the greatest swordsman in the worl-- WHOOPS! (*trips over his own feet*)

Yuna-neko:  Okay, enough of that for now ... time for the "serious" stuff again. ^^

Ailith: (*watching the rift close in horror*) MY SON!  MY DAUGHTER!

Xelloss: (*floating about on his back*) Ne, this could be a problem ...

Ailith: (*yanks him down*) You baka!  My only children are trapped in Hell and that's all you can say?!  I just saved you from that damn evil-obliterating flash, you numbskull!!

Xelloss:  By accident, too.

Phyria:  As always.

Ailith: (*fuming*) Look, you had better help me open that rift again, or I'll ... I'll ...

Lina:  Kill him?

Phyria:  Oh, please please please pleeease do kill him, he's such a nuisance ...

Xelloss:  Hey, I never die, except in that Sega game, and that was a fluke ...

Ailith:  Nnnnnoooo, I won't kill him.  Can't kill him anyway.  Too hard. (*to Xelloss*) But if you don't help us, I'll have the RL bring in Wren Mariisu!!

(*Collective GASP!*)

Phyria:  Wren Mariisu, the Ultimate White Sorceress?

Amelia:  Wren Mariisu, the Defender of Balance?

Lina:  Wren Mariisu, the only girl flatter than me?

Xelloss: (*blink blink*) Marii-chan? ^^;;

Ailith:  Hai!  Wren Mariisu -- THE MARY SUE FLUNK-OUT!!

[Note:  A Mary Sue is a sort of derogatory term for an obvious wish-fufillment self-insert fanfic character.   Therefore, a "Mary Sue Flunk-out" is a Mary Sue that isn't. ^_^]

[Addendum to Note:  The Wren is the bird traditionally killed on St. Stephen's Day (Day After Christmas) by cruel little children.   Go figure. ^^;]

Xelloss: (*breaking away and running*) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ...

Amelia: Um ... hey, why doesn't he just teleport out as usual?

Phyria: Parody affects the common sense lobe of the brain.

Lina: Really?  I thought he was panicking.

Phyria: (*mock innocence*) Xelloss-san?  Panic?  Why, never ... (*grin*)

Amelia:  What's so terrible about Mariisu-san, anyway?

Ailith: Ah ... sore wa, himitsu desu. ^_-

(*Meanwhile, in Hell ...*)

Tai: (*impossibly deep voice*) Mwa ha hahahahaha ....... give up, Evangeline-onee-san!!!  All hope is lost!!!!!!

Van-chan:  Waa ... my name stinks to poo ... (*sniff*) ;_;

Demon:  Hey, at least it's not "Ermentrude" ...

Tai:  Don't comfort her, you fool!!!!

Demon:  Sorry, sir-kun, I --

(*BOOM*)

Tai:  Idjut.

Van-chan:  Mama!!   Papa!!  Lina-san!!  Where are yooooooooouuuuuuuuu....? (*echo*)

(*Meanwhile, NOT in Hell ...*)

Gourry:   Ack, what's taking Kii so long to get back ...?

(*pause*)

Gourry:   Maybe I should get Asuka.

(*pause*)

Gourry:   Ah well.  I can wait a little longer. (*sits against door, waiting*)

Asuka: ........ Rei?

Rei:  Hai?

Asuka: (*oddly calm*) Where'd you get that Lance?

Rei:  Center of the city, poking out of a hole.  Why?

Asuka: ...... nothing.   Never mind.

Can you believe it?  That post did voitully nuttin' at all!  Woo-hoo!