The Spider Chronicles: Part Two

by Evil New Age Villain Chatty, Shinobi, Jen-chan, Jay, Linaly, VoidStar, Chibi*Ningi, Andrael, and Ryoga Hibiki

And now we return to the middle of the battle in Emiko's Genesis Chatroom, where an amazing turn of events is about to take place ...

(*Ryoga Hibiki enters the battle in the Chatroom*)

Ryoga: What's going on here? I go away for a few days and what happens? We get Spiders. Oh, this is just great, I can see were going to need some Bad A** power here

(*Leaves room and returns with a friend*)

Ryoga: Ok, here he is, the Bad A** of all Bad A**es, Kaneda!

Kaneda: Well, it's great to be here. You know who was all over me, she just wouldnt let me go you know.

(*Ryoga chuckles*)

Kaneda: So where are these so-called Spider Senshi?

Ryoga: Well that's what we don't know. Think you could use that way cool gun on some of the walls? Maybe you'll find the Hive where all these buggers are coming from.

Kaneda: No problem! (*Whips out big A** Gun*)

Ryoga: Uh Oh. Kaneda, it seems you have taken out the right wall of the chat room. What are we going to do now ?!?!?!?!

Kaneda: Hey it wasn't my fault it was your dumb "Breaking Point" that did it to the wall like that man.

Ryoga: Oo;;

Linaly: Sounds good Shinobi- Alright! Let's whupass!!! *runs and leaps in the air... a suddenly stops* Kaneda! ^_^

Tweak: O no... here we go.... -_- Linaly! Just fight the spiders!

Linaly: But Kaneda's here... o wel- ahh! one of them is on me!!!

Starla: INTERSTELLAR BLAAAST!

Linaly: Thanks Starla... Look! They got Shinobi!!!

(*a desperate, armor-clad Shinobi struggles to release himself*)

Sari: I gotcha covered, Shinobi-san! Hold on- *gathers condensed energy and throws it at spiders* Ha! there you go! ^_^ I wonder how every one else is doing? *Floats up* Jen-Chan, Voidstar??? You all ok?

Tweak: I think we've got them! Look- they're retreating somewhat!

Linaly: Thank god! I don't think i could take much more... blaahh...... x_x'

(*A large, purple, EVA-like mecha stumbles clumsily into the Chatroom. Chatty is in the plug -- and there is a spider on each of her shoulders and a cockroach on top of her head.*)

Chatty: Shinobi, we have a problem.

Giant Cockroach: Damn right, Shinobi. Damn right.

Chatty: I got into my EVA, just like you asked, but it would seem that not all of the spiders had left the EVA ...

Spider on Chatty's Shoulder: Are you kidding? It's air-conditioned in here!

Chatty: And there's no way to get out of the plug without, uh ... well, without being totally messed up by the spiders. ^^;;;

Spider on Chatty's Shoulder: Hehehe! You're so cute when you're nervous! (*squeezes her shoulder*)

Chatty: Oo;; Uh ... in anycase, I've been taken hostage by the spiders. They're under the leadership of a rebel cockroach I thought I'd squished way back when I was in the other dimension, but apparently I didn't because he's alive and he's on top of my head and the the worst part is ...

Giant Cockroach: Gya ha ha ha!

Chatty: ... he has Heideggar's laugh. (*shudder*) Jay, Rei, Shinobi, anybody -- HELP!!

Giant Cockroach: (*Princess Leia impression*) Oh help me Obiwan Shinobi, you're our only hope ...

VoidStar: That's a good plan, Shinobi-san. Allow me to alter it slightly. Ready, shito-tachi?

Shito-tachi (Rei, Kaworu, Aoi, Tenkei): Hai!!

*Leaps up into his own jet black Evangelion* Time to rock! Oh, and you might wanna cover your eyes.

Rei, Kaworu, Aoi, VS: AT FIELD, ZENKAI!!!! *As the AT Fields spread, Tenkei glomps onto Rei's back. She begins to glow, and a blinding flash of light sears through the room, leaving nothing behind but little charred spider atoms.*

Rei: *Whew* That's a little tiring. Arigatou, Tenkei-chan!

Tenkei: *Babbles in ancient Sumerian*

Rei: *Grins* You said it.

VoidStar: You can understand him?

Rei: Sometimes. *Turns to the reader* Again, for those who missed things about this encounter, go to this place.

Giant Cockroach: Damn you ANGELS!! That's nearly a third of my army!! REINFORCEMENTS!!

(*Giant Spiders pour out from nearly every possible opening in the EVA. There are just about as many there were before, or perhaps a few more ...*)

Giant Cockroach: And now ... (*pulls out a blaster gun and aims it at Chatty's head*) ... there. Try any more funny business and the plugchick gets it. (*Evil Grin*)

Chatty: Um ... I ... I ... think y..you ought t..t..to go along with him ... for now, anyway ... - -;;;

Giant Cockroach: ^_^ She speaks wisely. You'd better listen to that, baka. Don't think I wouldn't hesitate to kill the villain that took over my universe.

Chatty: -.-;;;

(*Jay Enters the room after defeating some intergallactic jumpers*)

Jay: Nani?!? What´s going on here??? *Looks around* Oro? What IS all this? *draws his katana*

Spider: NYA!!!!!!!

Jay: *Slashes* Oh no, not THEM again...

Crushed Spider: nya... X.x

Jay: _?Where did all this bugs come from anyway?!? *Turns around and slashes another bug with the flat side of his katana*


*poke poke*

ORO?!?!?!?! @.@

GET HIM!!!!!!! *A bunch of bugs chase Jay around*

Jay: WAAAAI!!!! WHAT DID I DO!??!!? *Starts running* "$%&+@!!!!

Bunch Of Bugs: DIEE! NYA!!!!!!

Jay: Oo (Damn, what I do? Great...)




Damn... *stops running*

*Electricity builds up in his hands* Come get me... *Evil grin*

Bugs: NYYYYYAAaaaaaAAAAA!!!!

Jay: ELECTRA----


Bugs: O_O

Jay: *As the electrycity begins to crakle on his whole body*

AHHH!!!


*A Huge ball of energy is formed at Jays hands*

Bugs: KEH!!!! X_X *gulp*

Jay: Heh... *Jay lifts the energy ball*

BLAST!!!!!!!!

Dead and Fried Bugs: ..........................

Jay: *Victory Stance* HAHAHAH!

Spider: >_< *Uses its iron mallet to smash Jay*

Jay: @@??? Orrrooooooro.............. *tumbles down*

Spider: NYA NYA NYA

Jay: .................. x.X

Chatty: Once again, this is just a request that you try and be careful. If a spider attacks you, then go ahead and defend yourself, but please don't do anything drastic like trying to wipe out all of the spiders at once or -- g..goddess forbid anything so f..foolish -- pulling a heroic rescue attempt. ^^;;;

Giant Cockroach: (*slyly*) Don't underestimate me, baka. She'll be dead before you can pull a single shot at me.

Chatty: Leave it to Shinobi. M..m..maybe he can negotiate something. -.-;;;

Giant Cockroach: Ha. Negotiate indeed.

Chatty: -_-;

Shinobi: ok, everybody, good, no rash moves and Chatty remains whole. Now here is my new plan: everybody cover the exits. I know both of out species of enemy, and as you can see, the spiders are somewhat more light hearted than our roach friend... acually that was Chatty's idea... i struck up a negotiation with the Roach Leader, and well see for yourselves!

 Roach: I will come out... but just because this entry plug smells like blood!
Shinji: See, Misato, like blood! the plug smells like blood!
Misato: Shinji, calm down... you aren't in the plug... Look, Kaworu is over there, why don't you go "talk" to him.
Shinji: *giggle, blush, giggle*
 Shinobi: hey spiders! come here! *the spiders gather around happy to be around the robot-looking boy*
 Roach: ok, i'm here, any funny stuff and i blast the girl! *indicates Chatty with by waving the blaster*
 Shinobi: look at what your leader is doing to the kute girl! He is threatening her! and just look at this recording, Lyric, play the tape!
Lyric: Negotiation Tape playing...
 Spiders: *Gasp* that... that... meeny! *sniff, sob* grab him!

*The spiders proceed to dogpile on the roach, several second later he is heavily restrained (picture three sets of spider web handcuffs)*

 Spiders: Here have some neato stuff that we can't use... the chest is locked...
*the spiders tromp happily off to their homeland*
 Shinobi: Armor power down! errr... thanks for this wonderful chestfull of err... stuff... (its good to be in the ninja garb again... that armor is a bit stuffy...) hmmm... anybody know where i can find a... *glances at the chest* key for this thing...?

Now to really thank everyone who helped us, People and NPC's... that was fun (oh, and in this version there was a leftover spider, but i can't remember how that part went, and i think we have had enough of spiders to last us quite a while...)

There... that is now that

 

THE END
Matt Yazama: What? You're finished? I missed whupping spider ass? Noooooo! I will post anyway!! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!

Chatty: >_<